tick tock

Never enough time

Due to the bank holiday my carefully crafted schedule was disrupted and I have only just found the time to tend to my blog. To most people I emit a air of barely held together chaos, but actually I have a very regimented daily timetable, which if I didn't stick to, I would never be in the right place at the right time.

I noticed how many places I can now check the time and, obviously, where I am dictates which timepiece I use. The above picture maps out an average working day using just some of those clocks (there are others such as the one on my computer and my desk phone which I didn't include as the clock is such a tiny element)

Lethargic

There are so many things I should be doing right now, but I really can't be arsed. I don't seem to be able to muster any enthusiasm these days. I hope it is a faze I am going through and soon I will be getting stuck into life again. I can't even be bothered to fini

Skinny Bitch

One day I was sitting having my lunch by a pond and I saw a beautiful dragonfly (or damselfly?... googled it - a dameslfly it is!) flitting around, so thin, so, vibrant, so delicate... I sat for a while admiring it until it flew off and was replaced by a bloated, squat, ugly fly who started trying to land on my sandwich. Would this fly be envious of the slender damsel? If insects were human - hell yes! In reality though the shit-eating hairy beasty probably hasn't even considered the situation, too busy trying to eat it's own puke off of my lunch.

What the...

Mad Looking, badly drawn person. Probably female with no sense of humour. Based on nobody, drawn for no reason... no wonder she is so tetchy!

A Sting in the Tail

This is a label I designed for my latest batch of Home-made Wine. I was inspired by an old Illustration by Ralph Steadman of a waspy thing which had these ugly, vicious legs. I doodled this picture later that day and thought it would be cool to make it into a label for my Mead. It looked a bit nasty for a mead label, but I figured if I called the brew "A Sting in the Tail" it would be justifiable.

I am not sure the overall label works for me, but I do like the bee! I think it looks like a fly in disguise (I am not sure that bee's eyes look like that, but hey...)

update: here are the labels on the bottles... Mmmmm.

Tea please

32p for a small cup of tea!

It is now ten minutes past Elevenses and I still have not bought my regular morning cup of tea. It is not that I don't have the money (although yesterday I had to scrape together all my pennies), it is because I am due to have a meeting with someone who I know will buy one for me (and maybe a Kitkat too if I am lucky). The trouble is I am not sure when this person will get here. I will give him 15 minutes and if I am still waiting I will go buy my own...

XML

Ah, the joys technology and the fabulous things you can do with it...

As part of my job I am having to get to grips with Extensible Mark-up Language (XML). I understand the fundamentals, but have never put any of it into practice, so it is still all a bit "blah" to me.

Bitch

What does it say about me that I have drawn a dog wearing a pink mini skirt?

I think it is just that I doodled the head and it looked like a cute doggy... too cute, so I added a semi anthropomorphic body to make it a bit disturbing.

Cutesy-disturbing. I like it.

"Bitch" on the Tee might be a bit obvious though. I have observed that people who wear clothes with words like "Hot Stuff! on, never are what their clothes profess. (Often "Chav Slag" would be more appropriate). Maybe I will change this image to reflect that, hmmm...

Beards

I have been cultivating a beard for the last couple of weeks.

I can't choose the shape of my beard. I am limited by the fact that hair only grows on my face in certain places, luckily I am quite happy with the outcome and if I could've chosen it, I probably would've gone for a beard like I now have (with perhaps one or two areas a bit more densely populated). Not that it really matters much as my wife has declared a death sentence on my facial hair and it is to be executed next Monday (after we have paraded it for the amusement of some friends and family)

It's a shame really as I have grown quite fond of it even though it is a bit itchy. And in an office poll it was decided I looked more like Che Guevara than Jesus by 6 votes to 2